Monday, August 11, 2008

Random Thoughts on My Favorite Subject

Here are some random things about me until I can get a proper “About Me” section up:

-I love the expression “go to the mattresses”

-I hate reducing multi-syllabic words down to one syllable; I hear “chicken parm” and I vomit in my mouth a little.

-I am neither an over-sexed, androgynous rock star nor a pumped up, unrepentant gangster, but I often find myself identifying with Prince and 50 Cent lyrics.

-I fuck like champ.

-I never believe a girl who says, “I give great head.” You all claim to give great head.

-I realize the logical inconsistency of the above two points, and I really don’t care.

-I don’t love them hoes.

-Yes, I realize that not all women are hoes, and I thank the sweet baby Jesus for that every day.


Dr. Feelg00d said...

Hey Lance,

Even though they all think they give great head. Its always wise to let them try to prove it. As long as you dont mind the occassional tooth mark.

Lance said...

in their defense, most women don't seem to mind instruction in the things that a particular man likes.

i just have to say that the best head i've received is from women that didn't feel the need to brag about their skills beforehand.

Mary said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mary said...

you know what they about men who claim they "fuck like a champ"? the same thing they say about women who claim to "give great head."

Lance said...


i think that i address that in the subsequent comment.

Hillary Muff said...

so that was self-effacing humour?


Hillary Muff said...

oops, this is mary from the previous post...i just changed my blog handle.

Lance said...

mary (aka muff),

no. i'm not being self-effacing at all.